Q. What’s the best club to use in a thunderstorm?

A. A 1 iron.

Q. Why?

A. Because not even God can hit a 1 iron

About 10 years ago, long before I first met him, a friend of mine was playing a round of golf with his wife. On the sixth hole he drove a terrible slice into a barnyard next to the fairway. After surveying the situation, his wife suggested "If you open the doors at both ends of the barn, you might be able to drive the ball through the barn and back onto the fairway." So they opened the doors and after a few moments of preparation, he swung the club. The ball soared up into the rafters of the barn, hit a big beam, and came blistering back out, hitting his wife in the head and killing her. Needless to say, this ruined the day for him.

Last month, I was playing the same course with him. On number six, I sliced into the barnyard. After briefly surveying the situation and being unaware of his previous misfortune, I said "If I open the doors at both ends of the barn, I might be able to drive the ball through the barn and back onto the fairway." "I wouldn’t try that if I were you", my friend chimed in. "Why not?" I inquired. "I tried that about 10 years ago." He responded. "I ended up with a double boggy on the hole."

Jesus and St. Peter were playing a round of golf one day. On number 5, a par 4 with a water hazard in front of the green, Jesus was getting ready for his second shot. "Jack Nicklaus would use a 7 iron", Jesus said. "You’re not Jack Nicklaus: use your 5 iron" was Peter’s reply. "No, Jack Nicklaus could do this with a 7 iron and so can I" was his reply. Jesus swung and the ball soared off to fall in the center of the pond.

"Drop another ball and try again, but this time use the 5 iron" said Peter. "No, Jack Nicholas would use a 7 iron, and so will I," Jesus insisted After Jesus lost four balls this way he started off down the fairway to retrieve them. Another foursome came up behind Peter just as Jesus started to walk out onto the water. "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ?" one of them said in astonishment. "He IS Jesus Christ" Peter replied. "He THINKS he’s Jack Nicklaus!"